I am in a really bad mom place...and for no good reason.
The kids are great. Stella and Thomas are doing great in school and for the most part are really well behaved. James is a little joy monkey who has the best temperament on the planet.
And yet...I am in a bad mom place.
The nonsense begins at dinner. I could place chocolate covered brownies covered with chocolate sprinkles in front of Thomas and I would hear, " I don't like chocolate covered brownies covered with chocolate sprinkles any more!!!!" I sit down and someone needs more milk. I try to take a bite and James wants the spoon...faster, faster mama!
Then...clear your plates, clean up the front room, shoes in the shoe bin, socks in the laundry room...no I mean it...clear your plates please! Focus please...pick your shoes up.
James has learned to really splash in the tub. So I hold a towel up in front of me...because maybe I do not want to take a bath yet. I have to wrestle him to get his pjs on. He. Can't. Hold. Still. Not. For. One. More. Second! Because no one ate the chocolate covered brownies covered with chocolate sprinkles, everyone wants another meal right before bed.
All three are tucked in and I go down to finish the kitchen. Footsteps and it is Stella. I know we have a couple more trips down before her mind will allow her to relax. Trust me, I should be used to this by now.
Anywhere I go in the house, I travel with a baby monitor. Even now as I type, I listen. I find myself thinking back to when I had my own apartment and everything was so organized. I feel like I am constantly tackling clutter and then...why?? is there still clutter? Where do all these toys come from?
A friend of mine was venting about her sons nighttime routine and she said, I don't know how you do it with three. Maybe it is a lot. Maybe it is more than I realize and I am just feeling burnt out.
I do know that I feel better just writing about it:-)
2 comments:
Ahhh sweety... I don't have three but I feel your pain... the holidays have come and gone, we survived those... the weather has been brutally cold and everyone is out of sorts about that.
I am not good at this at all... but take a bubble bath, give yourself a manicure, send the kids outside with Tony for 10 minutes, stand in the middle of your house and scream at the top of your lungs.. trust me.. it feels so much better.
Know that no matter how much pick up you do, there will be clutter for the next 18 plus years... just accept it.. you are a real woman, a real Mom... your life, your house none of it will be picture perfect.. but it is wonderful.
Please note- I needed to read those words as I typed them probably more than you needed to hear them...
Hey, you rock... you are a phenomenal woman! And don't forget it!
I have three as well. It's hard, ain't no two ways. Some nights I fail and have a raw throat to prove it, other nights I make it through and sleep like the dead. I think the best we can do is to score ourselves over the long run and not the specific moments.
I applaud you for being honest. It's hard to do!
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