Progress

I wrote about hitting a wall. James was seven weeks old. On Friday, he will be ten weeks old and I am feeling so much better. What have I done?

1. I started taking Lexapro. It is antidepressant but also used for anxiety. It is making a world of difference. I used to be able to physically feeling anxious...tingling in my back, my breathing...but now I feel calmer. I feel more like myself. I still feel overwhelmed at time but I have three kids...

2. James started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. I can not say YIPPPPEEEE loud enough!! Sleep is such a wonderful thing!

3. I let our friends help. I have two wonderful friends that sprang into action and fed our family for over a week...we had wonderful meals dropped off with some very kind words. It is really difficult for me to accept help but I am so happy we did. My parents have taken the twins on and off to give us a break and they are constantly checking in to see how I am doing. I received so much support when I wrote that post about hitting a wall via email. It was exactly what I needed...to hear I was not crazy...that newborns are exhausting and sometime we all need help.

4. I talked and talked about it. My sister Erin was down visiting all last week and we sat while James was napping and talked. Talked and talked and it felt so good...so therapeutic for me to talk about this time. She is such an insightful young woman now and her visit came at the perfect time. I love my sisters so much and they have been so wonderful to me and such good aunts!!

I finally feel like I am getting my footing back and feeling more like myself. The ironic thing is that now I feel sad...James is almost three months old. He is our last child and this time is going too fast. Our family is good and we are settling into a rhythm.