Well James has been home for over a week now and there has been plenty of ups and downs. On the up side, I feel so comfortable with him. I feel like I can meet his needs and love him. I think Thomas and Stella are happy. We have built in some real spoiling this weekend via getting fish for pets, an Easter egg hunt and special movies.
On the down side, I do not feel like myself. I am ridden with anxiety. Anxiety about the baby? Nope. Anxiety about the twins, maybe? The best way I can describe it is that I can be sitting with Thomas and having a normal conversation, but I do not feel normal...I feel like I am faking my way through it. Friday and Saturday, I was so ridden with anxiety...I just needed someone to be with me....not necessarily the help (but that was nice too) but just to be with me. Our friend Lynn did that for most of her weekend...Thank you!! (I actually will never be able to say thank you enough...I know I overstepped my bounds:-)
Last night, I was given the gift of real rest by Tony and Lynn. I won't say sleep because my body won't let itself get real sleep yet, but rest. Today is a new day and I feel a bit better.
One of my favorite blogs, Moms are for Everyone, Emery wrtes about it best here. I am so there.
Grape Tomatoes
2 months ago
2 comments:
Interesting and refreshingly honest. Remember that your hormones are likely all over the place. It helped me to know "hmm...this will likely pass once my body is more normal again!" Didn't make the anxiety go away, but at least eased my mind a bit. I will say a prayer for peace and rest tonight. :)
Amy,
I went through this same thing after both kids, but it was really hard for me after Dougie. It was like I just wanted everything to be like it was before, but with one extra addition to the family. With Lura I just wanted to go to Target! I love to shop at Target and I felt if I did things I loved to do before then the feelings would just go away. And they did, eventually. I will pray for you during this time and if you need to talk or email or whatever, just know that I too have been through this and will not judge. Lots of hugs and kisses to the family! Kim
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